Don't Follow the Blackbird
by Rinaty
Summary: This is based around what would happen if Minori Tachibana (from Blackbirds Follow) became the jonin of team seven. It is a collection of interconnected potential one-shots and utter crack. T for language/AU


**Author's Note:** I have had multiple reviewers of _Blackbirds Follow_ mention that they would have loved to see Minori become Team Seven's Jonin teacher. Welp, this is a non-cannon collection of one-shots of what I think would've happened if Minori had replaced Kakashi. Be warned, there will be lots of crack and unexplained abilities/traits on Minori's part.

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**Don't Follow the Blackbird**

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**A Teacher's Revenge**

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"You can't do this to me!"

The distraught shout caught the attention of the entire room despite the fact that it had originated from behind the closed door. A brown haired chunin, whom was the instructor of the class, winced when a loud thump echoed through the thin walls of the academy. He was thankful that he would not have to deal with whoever the psychotic kunochi was and turned back to his class, "R-right, as I was saying, congratulations on passing the genin exams. I am very proud of all of you."

"I don't want to do this; get Kakashi Hatake instead!"

Eyebrow twitching at the sound of the kunochi interrupting him again, the instructor decided that he would act as if he had never heard the woman. Who was she kidding anyways; Kakashi Hatake never did anything for anyone for anything. "From this day onward you will be shinobi of Konohagakure and expected to act like responsible adults."

"I don't care if he's only a chunin, Izumo would do better than I will," she shrieked from the hallway and the instructor tried to ignore the fact that she sounded as if she were closer than she had been three minutes ago.

"I will start calling out the teams now, starting with team one," the poor instructor began only to never finish.

"Damnit," came a sharp cry as the door to the classroom was slammed open and a woman was tossed inside. Her hands struck the hardwood as she moved with her momentum and performed a half-cartwheel. Once she was on her feet, she brushed a loose strand of dark crimson behind her ear and pointed at the man hidden in the shadow of the doorway, "How could you do this to me?"

"You," the man scoffed, arms folded against his chest, "If I had to deal with a brat like you, I'm going to make sure that you have to deal with a team of fucking brats!"

"I can't believe what a potty-mouth you have, Hamaki," the woman gasped in mock horror, going so far as the cover her mouth with gloved hands. The man ran a hand through his grey streaked brown hair and, with a grunt, turned on his heel and left the woman on her own. She would learn the hard way just what kind of hell she had put him through. When she finally came crawling to him for help, he would laugh at her before slamming the door in her face. Oh yes, revenge was sweet.

"E-excuse me?"

"What," the woman began as she turned to the harmless instructor. Upon seeing the barely hidden irritation and obvious confusion on his face, however, she changed her pace. "Listen, I'm the jonin sent to train one of these groups of brats and, unless I'm wrong, I believe I know what team I got saddled with."

"And that would be?"

"Team seven, of course."

During all of this commotion, the jonin had expertly kept her face hidden from the class despite the efforts of some of the more curious students. The instructor glanced down at the clipboard that was clenched between his sweaty hands, flipping the first paper over in order to see who was a part of the new team seven. His voice was oddly even,"Tachibana?"

"Spot on, kiddo."

"If I give you your students, will you take them and get out of my class?"

"Faster than you can say onomatopoeia!"

The chunin shot the jonin with his best reproachful look and turned to the class at large, "Step to the front when I call your name. Team seven's first member is Sasuke Uchiha!"

One of the few silent members of the class stood up from his seat. Taking a moment to adjust the square lensed glasses that he had become accustomed to wearing, the boy tried to figure out just who the woman was. A vague feeling of familiarity was tugging at his conscious mind, but no matter how hard he tried to remember, he could not place the red haired woman standing with her back to him. As the boy covered the last few feet between him and the instructor, the man called out a second name, "Sakura Haruno!"

A girl towards the back of the class reached her feet without problem, but she was troubled with the same idea that she knew the jonin. There was just something about that mane of red hair that, if Sakura did not know herself better, she would have thought out right pissed her off. As she neared the woman and Sasuke, she came to a very sudden realization. Her eye-widening horror was doubled as the instructor called out the name of the last member of team seven, "Naruto Uzumaki!"

The blond ball of energy jumped on top of the table he sat at, ran the length of it, and leaped into the air. Upon landing beside his teammates, Naruto stuck out an accusing finger at the back of the jonin. Easily dismissing the stares he felt through his once-white jacket, the boy voiced the one question that had been on his mind since the woman had entered the room, "What are you doing here, Tomato?"

"Oh," the woman wore her largest grin as she turned towards her freshly minted genin team, "I'm only your team leader-teacher-keeper, of course." At the utterly blank looks she was receiving from Sasuke and Sakura, Minori Tachibana continued, "I had honestly thought Sauce or Sakuraso would have figured it out first. I'm a bit disappointed with them and impressed with you, Fishcake." Naruto practically glowed under the praise while Sakura glowered and Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Well, haven't any of you missed me," Minori teased when the silence dragged on too long for her liking.

"When you said you would train me when I became a genin, I didn't know you meant like this, Tomato," Naruto answered with a grin.

"Nori, where have you been all this time," Sasuke bit out coldly.

"I had hoped I would never see you again," Sakura threw in with a harsh glare, "Suisen."

Minori resisted the need to rub the back of her head as she realized just how hard training this team was going to be. Somewhere behind her she heard the instructor mutter 'onomatopoeia' under his breath. If her eyebrow began to twitch at that, no one mentioned it.

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**Author's note:** Bam! So what if there are hints in here to stuff that hasn't happened in_ Blackbirds Follow_ just yet, its nothing too big. I mean, those of you who read BF know about the part involving Naruto. The reasons behind Sakura's hatred and Sasuke's sulking will be revealed in the next four or so chapters of _Blackbirds Follow_ anyways. I think. I will take the time to explain the nicknames.

Minori's name for Sakura isn't just a mispronunciation. 'Sakuraso' is actually the Japanese name for 'Primrose', which holds the Japanese meaning of 'desperation.' 'Sakura' holds the flower meaning (in Japanese) of 'kind or gentle.' Sakura Haruno is a fangirl; I hope you see what I did there. 'Suisen' is for the flower 'Narcissus,' which more or less means 'vain.' Leave it to Sakura to be clever.

'Nori' is actually a shortened version of 'Minori' while also playing into the food nicknames with the boys. 'Nori' is the Japanese name for a type of seaweed which is edible. 'Sauce' is simply from the way Minori pronounces 'Sasuke' (sauce-kay.) 'Fishcake' is the meaning of Naruto. 'Tomato' is because Minori has red hair and Naruto was only five or six when he gave her that nickname.

**Review to tell me what you liked, what you found wrong with it, and if you think I should make more chapters of this. **


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